Destroying Sickle Cell Disease: Paralyzed by Fear....

At 4am the agonizing fear, anxiety, tension and stress has snatched me up out of a restful sleep. In less then 2 days we begin the journey to cure KJ. I lay hear listening to the peaceful breathing pattern of my husband as he sleeps.. I know we both share the same feelings. Although, I want to hold him and cry, I rather him sleep peacefully. He to needs his strength and peace.

So i'm laying here at 4am questioning my judgement, my sanity, my faith and my courage.. Why our we volunteering to put KJ through this toxic cure? Is his sickle cell really severe enough to put him through 9 days of chemo? Will he surivive a bone marrow transplant? Will Karson his little brother and the donor be in pain? Will the twins be ok while mommy and daddy spend weeks at the hospital? So many questions...

Take a deep breathe... Relax.. Let Go Let God! I say it 3 more times ...

Then I remind my self we are doing this so that he can live! So that he will not have to endure unimaginable pain! So that he can play without limits! So that he can swim no matter the temperature of the water! So that he can make a snow man and throw a snow ball! So that he can play little league baseball, football and soccer! So that he can go to school without missing weeks from being hospitalized! So that he will have a better quality of life!! We are doing this to destroy sickle cell!! We are doing this to so thats others will know they no longer have live with this horrible, unpredictable and painful disease!!

We are destroying sickle cell disease....